Skip to main content

Why God Wrote a Book

The Bible explains that God created the world in six days, and on the seventh day he rested (although it never explained why an all powerful being would need to "rest" ).

On the eighth day, God decided to write a book about it all. 

And on the ninth, he decided to create 6000 vastly different languages,  of which only 200 are actually written languages, the many of which have wildly varied grammatical structures and words that are without synonymous equal,  and vested his sacred church - a church that has just as hard a time ferreting out child molesters among its ranks as the public school system -  with being able to make sure everyone gets it right, forever!

And on the tenth day, God said, " There! Now they shouldn't have any problem understanding that."

Then Jesus asked, "But what if they do?"

To which God replied, "Then I suppose I will cast them into a lake of fire for all eternity for being so stupid, unless they grovel and thank me so much for not doing so before hand, that I decide to bring them to heaven, where they can continue to do the same thing for all eternity." 

And then God grinned as He leaned over toward Jesus - who was just a boy at the time and sitting on the floor at the left hand of his father - and said:

"That is, unless you want to take their place."




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why Are Republicans Pro Life?

Most people don't realize that the Supreme Court has been in the hands of the Republican party since at least 1970! In fact, even in the landmark case of Roe v Wade that legalized abortion, SCOTUS was inhabited by 6 Republicans and 3 Democrats, and the vote was 7 to 2. One of the reasons is that the Republican Party has absolutely ZERO desire to win on the abortion issue. And that's because abortion gives the GOP a clear focal point with potentially unlimited organizing power. And it's an even simpler message to sell than religion, since we are "pro-life." (if that was true, however, they wouldn't be actively trying to repeal healthcare for up to 30 million Americans, nor would they be so pro-gun, pro-war, pro-death penalty, pro welfare cuts, pro- social security cuts, pro- drone strikes, etc). The Republican party officially became "pro-life" in 1976, thanks to Jesse Helms (R-NC). The only reason no serious challenge was brought within the pa...
Post a Comment
Read more
  The world changes according to the way people see it, and if you alter even by a millimeter the way people look at reality, then you can change it.” James Baldwin   
Post a Comment
Read more

The Clash of Religious Beliefs with Reality: Over Simplicity in a Hyper Complex World

God is the anthropomorphism of  our hope that life has a "happily ever after" ending, where there is no such thing as death and suffering, which we anthropomorphize in the form of the devil. In a sense, we are taking ideas and turning them into phantom figures of our selves, with angles and demons being projections of our own souls and our penchant for good and evil.  We see this when we anthropomorphize the act of gift giving into Santa Clause and think in terms of "old man winter" and "father time." We even reverse this process by describing ourselves as living in the springtime of our youth or the autumn of our years.  Religion takes this habit to another level, however, and teaches people to "believe" that the personifications we rely on to describe our hopes and fears are actual "beings;" beings from whom all of the characteristics we tend to associate with ideas of life and death, good and evil, necessarily emanate. Thi...
Post a Comment
Read more