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Why Satan is a Christian & Jesus is an Atheist

The great irony of Christianity is how often Christians have acted like Satan in pursuit of their desire to make everyone like Christ. And this irony is only surpassed by how often atheists are truer to the example and the teachings of Christ than Christians, since it is the former who are often imprisoned like Christ for advocating peace in times of war, while the latter is only too willing to jump into the nearest foxhole for God and glory, with all the conviction of the German foot soldier in WW II that "God is with us."

This is hardly surprising, since if anything Christianity has to say is true, especially if Satan and God are really at each others throats, than there is no doubt that the easiest way for Satan to win the Battle of the Flags game between "Chaos & Order," like a Get Smart episode, is to wear the arm bands of the other side, like the criminals did in The Dirty Dozen. 

To put it more simply, when the Book of Revelation talks about Satan coming to rule the earth at the "end of times" (that the Christian always expects will be the return of Jesus but which history shows is really only ever the collapse of the latest world superpower, which in the times of Jesus was Rome), the state of the world today makes it pretty clear to see that such a figure could only rise up in the world as a wealthy megalomaniacal Christian. 

Not that I actually believe that the Bible is anything but a drug induced acid trip, written by would-be Charlie Manson followers, while they were all high on peyote and rockin out to the Janis Joplin and the Beatles of their day. But if one was to actually take the ideas of the Bible seriously, and apply them metaphorically to the world today, it would take real effort to not see how the philosophy of a penniless pauper like Christ has become the infallible religion of the money changers; and how Christians in America prostrate themselves before a Golden Calf president, who promises to make the "free market" their messianic savoir. 

Yet Donald Trump is no more a Christian than King David was a Jew. And in the same way David moved the capital of Israel to Jerusalem, which only caused great consternation among the twelve tribes because  Jerusalem was a Jebusite city, so King Donald Drumpf has declared Jerusalem the capital of Israel all over again, causing consternation all over the middle east. 

Combine this with the fact that a number of Christians across America are all chomping at the bit for the kick off of that great war of Armageddon foretold of in their bible, which is why they have all been stockpiling weapons for the last few decades, and it seems to only prove, once again, that Christianity is and has only ever been, a religion spread through bloodshed first, and blessings later.  And considering how Christ had to be murdered before humanity could be "saved" from the wrath of his "holy father," this was apparently "God's plan."

And like Hitler who rose to power preaching Christian virtues in Mein Kampf and imprisoning homosexuals as enemies of God, so anyone who is willing to enforce "god's laws" for the army of sheepish Christians is worshiped by those Christians as though he were Jesus himself, riding down from heaven like Elijah in a golden Cadillac to his penthouse apartment in central Manhattan (at tax payer expense, of course).

When the "free market" is worshiped so openly by Christians as their only real messiah, it is pretty clear that  Jesus would be an atheist, for as Joel Osteen has clearly demonstrated, money is the only "god" such Christians really follow. 

And like the plaque placed above the cross of Christ, so such Christians profess their true allegiances by attaching to their true messiah the phrase, "In God We Trust."    


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