Wednesday, July 6, 2016

The Coming Zombie Apocolypse

As anyone with eyes can plainly see, the Zombie Apocalypse is clearly coming, and it's coming sooner rather than later. But the "zombies" are not people who have risen from the dead, like Christians angry about being woken up on the last day. Instead, they are people who are so consumed with their own righteousness and fear, that they will eventually rise up with their gospels in one hand and their semi automatic rifles in the other, and begin the godly work of slaughtering anyone who refuses to accept the will of the one true, most deceitful, murderous, blood drenched savage gods of all time - GOD!

In fact, that is exactly what happened during the Rwandan genocide, when the Christian churches there began playing power politics, and lead their congregants to believe that smiting their enemies was as Christian as Abraham attempting to murder his own son (b/c, like the Son of Sam, he listened to the voices in his head) or God savagely sacrificing his only son for the sake of his beloved savages.

In a world as hyper complex as our own, finding anyone or anything to blame for all of the problems people face today, and for all of the frustrations that people everywhere are daily drowning in, is as easy as closing your eyes and throwing a penny. Wherever the penny lands,  there you will find plenty of evidence to justify whoever, or whatever beliefs, you wish to blame. It's really just that easy. An effect can have an infinite number of causes, in other words, in the same way any given effect is the result of an infinite number of causes. And because of this, even a teenager can easily assemble the necessary "evidences" to prove that the cause of all their problems is whomever they wish to blame.

If you want to blame women for all of the problems in the world, it's as easy to do as finding amble evidence for blaming all of the Democrats in the world, or all of the aardvarks in the world, or cows, or amebas, or plankton. Or if you wish to blame the Jews, as Hitler did, that's just as easy. Or even more fashionable today, blame the Muslims, or the Homosexuals, or the Liberals, socialists or communists (just don't blame the capitalists)! Blame those who wish to take away your guns! And those who wish to defend them as well! Blame everyone for everything! And let the light of your own confirmation bias guide you to slaughter your enemies, the world, and everything in it - in God's ever loving mercy. Amen.

The Zombie Apocalypse is us, in other words, for we are the GOD of this world, who is as evil and as good, as ignorant and enlightened, and as hateful and loving, as we are to each other. But because we have put our willingness to die for our beliefs above our willingness to "die for each other" we turn our heaven into hell on Earth.  God be praised and let's burn some witches! Who brought the holy marshmallows?


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