On God, Meaning, & Thoughts of Suicide

The other day, I was discussing with a friend the proper angle one should hold their elbow to ensure a bullet would travel through both hemispheres of their brain with the most promise.

It wasn't that either of us were interested in shooting ourselves in the head. He had simply worked in an ER for more than a decade, and had seen over that duration the many countless failed attempts of those who, concluding that life was but a hellish realm that might be exited through a doorway called "death," had crashed into that threshold with all of the grace of a bird flying into plate glass window by dropping their elbow upon squeezing the trigger. 

According to the World Health Organization, global suicide rates have increased by 60% over the last 45 years.  And using a gun is the number one means by which people (especially men) chose to shuffle loose this mortal coil. (The National Rifle Association should be ecstatic!)

Suicidal ideation is when we find ourselves thinking about suicide, not simply as something other people do, and not necessarily as something we are even thinking of doing to ourselves. It's really the thought many people have of what it would be like to just no longer exist. It's like George Bailey, in It's A Wonderful Life, wishing he had never been born.

Of course, in that favorite Christmas classic, an angel comes and changes George's mind by showing him how much worse it would be for everyone else, if he weren't around. After a healthy guilt tripping, then, George is only too happy to return to the life he only hours earlier, found too miserable to bare any longer. The moral of the story being, no matter how bad you have it now - whether you're a slave working on a plantation, or an employee stuck in meaningless job that amputates your soul with each pendulum swing of the clock - things could always be worse! So be thankful for what you have, for you have no idea how shitting things can get.

Basically, the entire story is summed up by my father, when he would yell "keep it up, and I'll give you something to cry about!"

Hence, the hardships of life may be bad, but we should still be thankful, no matter how bad things may be, since Hell is always a far worse place to end up, and the torments and sufferings there are endless!Praise the Lord!

Yet from all of this, we are supposed to derive some "meaning" behind it all, that is so grand that it makes all of the pain and suffering that life can dish out, no matter how hellish it may be, all well worth it in the end. Ahh, yes. Meaning. That ejaculatory answer that makes any masturbatory hell well worth the rub; no matter "what dreams may come."

So, just for being born, a person can expect to be enslaved in dept, so they'll be forced to work a job they would rather have their toe nails ripped off rather than do, just so they can "grovel" to hopefully the right "God" and the right "religion," -  that everywhere tells them they better, or there'll be hell to pay! - so they can find enough "meaning" in life so they'll get up every morning and continue to put up with a world overflowing with lies and bullshit (or at least be too afraid to stop for fear of hell if they do), just so they can be judged for how they lived a life they never asked for in the first place.

Brilliant. Cue Ludwig Van's "Ode to Joy." 


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