The trouble with marriage is that we often come to think of it like a prison sentence from which there is no escape. Thanks to Catholics, marriage is basically like the 2nd circle of hell, where Francesca da Rimini and Paolo Malatesta are punished together in hell for their adultery, for eternity.
Naturally, the two can't stand each other. If you were stuck to someone for the rest of your life, could you?
And that's the problem. Ya see, we can only truly love that which can be lost. We cannot love someone who we are bound to for forever, from whom we can never escape, no matter how much we wish we could; no matter how painful it may feel to be around them. That is not love. But that is exactly what some people think marriage requires. No wonder so many people prefer not to get married these days.
Being bound to someone for you're entire life (one wonder's what this means for this couple in an eternal afterlife - are this still "married" even after they die, in heaven, or hell? And could they ever know the difference?), makes it alot harder to freely chose to change things about ourselves for that person.
It's like expecting a prisoner to change their behavior to please the prison warden, as if the prisoner has any incentive to do so other than the pain the warden can cause the prisoner. But this is hardly the basis for a healthy marriage, although it would seem religion would think it is.
This is why I do not respect religious ideas of marriage, because marriage is not a prison sentence that "God" imposes on people, nor is it a legal contract that two people must comply with for the rest of their lives - even if they wish like hell they could get out of it!
Marriage is a mutual choice be two people to freely WANT to be in each others lives. And because that desire to WANT to be in each other's lives, and to have that other person in their lives, surpasses all other wants, "changing for someone" because a choice one is free to make, not something someone is forced to make like a ultimatum.
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